Review – Silent Hill Revelations (2012)

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First thing is first: I have never played the Silent Hill video games. I am not much of a gamer and honestly don’t have much time to be. So this is the opinion of somebody who is unfamiliar with how well this sequel relates to the game. This is a review of a movie, not a game. Don’t read this if you are a know-it-all who is going to say “If you played the game, such and such would make sense” because it is the job of filmmakers to bring such things to light in the film itself so that people who don’t know the game can understand it.

The movie opens with a nightmare sequence straight out of Ray Bradbury‘s book, “Something Wicked This Way Comes”. Sharon from the first movie, I mean “Heather”, I mean “Alessa” (Adelaide Clemens), dreams of running into a demonic carnival chased by extras from the first Beastmaster film, and ends up catching fire before waking up. I wish I could tell you what all of that means, but I am still not sure.

Her dad (Sean Bean) is kidnapped by people from another dimension called Silent Hill (Hey, if these monsters can affect our real dimension so much and kill random characters, kidnap others, yada yada, why don’t they just destroy the world and get it over with? Yeesh). Sharon/Heather/Alessa ends up entering Silent Hill to rescue daddy from a cult that is cursed by the ghost of a little girl (Erin Cain) that they all killed years ago. This cult is still around, despite being completely decimated by said ghost in the first film. I guess it’s true what they say: Crazy bitch cult leaders don’t die, they turn into Carrie-Anne Moss. I guess that explains her lack of roles the last couple years. But, I digress…

Once we are there in Silent Hill with her, we are treated to all kinds of ghastly hallucinations and monsters in several scenes that seem to exist only for the sole purpose of giving gamers the monsters they love on a big screen. I will say this though: Those nurses look oddly hot, even though they are dead and all. As Sharon/Heather/Alessa makes her way past these oddities, the film draws into an ending that Cronenberg would be proud of. Lots of people/monsters merging and mutating with other people/monsters in a veritable orgy of CGI nastiness.

Not much to praise in the film unfortunately, outside of Clemens and the unique cinematography. If the first film confused you, good luck with this one. Even an amusing but needless cameo by Malcolm McDowell doesn’t really add anything to the proceedings. Also miss Jodelle Ferland from the first film. Guess she read the script and face-palmed.

Video game movies are rarely any good. No secret there. But what I wonder is why they would make a sequel to one that was almost universally panned by both critics and audiences. It’s not like Resident Evil where some of the reviews were decent and it had an enormous fan following. This film sure is “perdy”, but it is also confusing, inane, poorly acted, and almost completely devoid of scares. Still, you might enjoy watching it muted with some Hollywood Undead playing over it. Hm. That gives me an idea for my next Halloween party. Guess it wasn’t a complete waste of time…

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Written by
Ash Hamilton is not only the owner of, but also one of its major contributors. A long time horror movie enthusiast, Ash has lent his personality to radio and television and continues to support his favorite genre through his writing and art. He also loves beef jerky and puppies... and low-grade street-quality hallucinogens.

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