Classic Horror I Felt Obligated to Watch, or: An Unexpected Journey

I pride myself in being a fan of the more obscure horror movies. Therefore I’ve been feeling very guilty for a long time for not having seen certain classics of the horror genre. Invasion of the Body Snatchers I ticked off my list long ago, and I found that very psychologically interesting with themes that are relevant to contemporary culture as well (I know, here I go again with the psychological horror). The Haunting I crossed off some months ago with slightly amused sentiments, and I saw Psycho when I was about 6 years old. For now I want to hold on to the memory of experiencing sheer terror when seeing a skeleton on screen at the end of Psycho that I would probably fail to experience now. The movies that most nagged me until now were The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari, Little Shop of Horrors and Freaks.

Horror is a genre that suffers time badly, due to people getting more and more desensitized and horror movies getting more and more offensive and gory. Classic horror movies, whilst retaining their other merits as excellent works of art in their own right, just aren’t that scary. Therefore embarking on a sitting of a horror movie from, say, the thirties, can be risky for an adamant horror enthusiast. Were the three classics I chose really worth the watch? Let’s find out!

The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari (1920)

This one has been bugging me for years in a nonchalant way, just by residing in the recesses of my mind as a movie title. I like the title a lot, which is basically why I felt the need to see this movie, which Wikipedia dubs as “one of the greatest horror movies of the silent era”. So yes, it’s a silent film. Artsy fartsy!

Maybe it’s just my subconscious doing its projections, but from the atmosphere, visual style and acting I get vibes of Metropolis, another German silent movie that is a gorgeous classic. I do mean that, I don’t often have the patience to watch silent movies. Metropolis was something I could actually sit through and enjoy. Getting a Metropolis vibe is therefore a good sign for me.

This movie is about a dude (Dr. Caligari) who wants to show off a Somnambulist (sleepwalker) at a fair. This particular somnambulist has slept for 23 years non-stop, which renders him able to see the future. He prophesizes a death and the dead man’s friend gets suspicious.

The dramatic overacting of the silent movie era works well with horror. The melodrama and exaggerated gestures create a surreal, otherworldly atmosphere that works well with the genre and fails to be ridiculous due to the lack of sound. The music is adamantly creepy throughout, with lots of violin. It leaves your spine curling long after you’ve finished watching. I have to say, I was unexpectedly very into this movie; I presumed this one would be the most boring one, but it completely won me over. The simplicity of the story is very refreshing to a contemporary viewer who has to endure overly complicated plots with holes as large as the budget of Prometheus on a monthly basis. I guess the monster-type character, the Somnambulist Cesare, mucking about in tights and a bowl cut is not the most horrifying image one can think of. I still maintain that the movements, the chilling music and the overall aloofness of the piece make a nice scary movie.

Freaks (1932)

I wanted to watch Freaks because there was a reference to it in The Big Bang Theory; Howard alluded to someone becoming a part of the nerd gang by ironically chanting “One of us, one of us”. A quick googling told me that chant was from Freaks, and a YouTube video of the scene in question captivated me with its unique atmosphere of gloomy celebration.

Whereas Dr. Caligari pleasantly surprised me, Freaks sadly underwhelmed me. I thought it would be twisted and creepy, but it was a downright depressathon. I don’t think it was ever meant to be that frightening. I had the delusion of thinking that this was just a very un-PC movie by today’s standards, but it really isn’t. The horror comes from the fact that once you piss off the freaks, they will come for you, but only because they look out for each other in a world that’s brutal towards them. It was just so depressing that even I, who have praised one depressing movie after another and swear by melancholic horror, almost gave up in what I thought was the middle of the film. Turns out, it was almost the end, and the movie ended before I had the chance to give up. Convenient!

I realize I’m not saying much about the movie. It was just so damn sad. I’m not that good with so damn sad. So I think I kind of blocked out most of the movie and procrastinated watching it while it was playing on my computer. I think I might have found a new way of procrastination.

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

Initial thought: WTF 80s music? I actually had no idea this was a comedy, I had thought it was a camp B-movie with a ridiculous flesh-eating plant. Turns out, it’s a musical spoof with a ridiculous flesh-eating plant. It was only after this realization that I actually did proper research and found the original 60s movie with Jack Nicholson, which is also a comedy. I have to admit, I have an unhealthy fondness for Rick Moranis despite all the flops he’s made, due to him being on Spaceballs. Something that really made me facepalm though is Audrey’s voice and the way Ellen Greene plays her. To me, that represents the very thing that is often wrong with American parodies: an over-the-top character who has a silly voice, all for cheap laughs.

I love the parody elements, first of all a man who randomly walks into the shop and conveniently enquires after the peculiar plant so as to allow Rick Moranis to tell the story of how he acquired it. Another lovely parody element is Steve Martin. He is pure brilliance, going all out as a sadistic dentist who gives root canals “on the house” and seems to think he’s Elvis. After watching this one I gave the original a go, but that was way too oldie-style for me. The actors just shouted a lot, seemingly thinking that if they don’t talk loud enough, the audience won’t hear them. I guess this might’ve actually been the case if they had a small budget and bad equipment, but I couldn’t stay interested when my brain was telling me to get annoyed at shouty people.

Was watching these three movies worth the time? Yes, because of three reasons: the sinister atmosphere of Dr. Caligari, Rick Moranis being Rick Moranis and Steve Martin in a nasty role for a change. I wasn’t properly scared once during this project. Mostly I’m glad it’s over, and one thing is for sure: I’m never watching Freaks again. I don’t recommend this to people who only watch horror for the thrill. Those who share with me an interest in the history of horror movies I’d urge to watch The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari.